What a Mom break can do for you…

It’s been three years since I took a real break.  I’m referring to a time when I can actually be horizontal for more than a few hours of sleep, broken up by nightly bathroom breaks and cutie pies frightened by the shadows looming in the corners of their bedrooms.  I don’t want to admit it most days, but I need a Mom break.

The truth is…I don’t get many breaks.  I have five young children and they want me at all times of the day and night.  I became a single mom when my youngest two were 6 weeks old and I was exclusively breastfeeding them.  I also had three other kids that had missed their mom for almost three months of hospital bed rest.  After my husband of two decades decided to move out, things were truly bananas for me with the kids. But I had to figure it out. A year later, enter the global pandemic to ensure that quarantine would keep me on my feet almost non-stop. I begin to sense that it was even more important for me to take a Mom break…and soon!

So when I got the opportunity to take a weekend away, I was hesitant but excited.  Now that I’m here, I have had some time to process my thoughts and have a little downtime. I am already feeling uplifted and refreshed after just a few hours.  It’s given me some clarity on a few things that I can illuminate for my fellow mom friends…

Silence is golden.
My house is almost never quiet.  Even in the wee hours, there always seems to be some type of noise or disturbance.  I’ve spent a great deal of time this weekend just being silent and listening to the thoughts running through my mind.  I realized that I am way more tired than I even thought before…like soul tired.  Most days, I don’t take the time to hear what’s going on inside my own soul and I really need to do this more often.  How in the world can I know what my needs are as a human if I can’t even hear what’s happening in my inmost being? And if I don’t know myself, how will I continue to effectively help my children and others in my realm? Okay self…you’ve got my attention. I’m listening.

Stillness awakens your soul.
Not only is there not much quiet in my home, but there is surely almost no time to be still.  If I’m not cooking, cleaning, washing things/people, doing laundry, attending to the needs of my children, on the phone, paying bills, taking care of the house or working, then I would still take those rare moments to spend quality time with my kiddos.  I know that they miss just hanging out with me because Mommy always has so much to do to keep our household going.  But the downtime I am getting this weekend is showing me that being still makes me more conscious of all that I do.  

I loved spending time just lying in bed and staring out of the window.  I let my imagination fly free and thought of what might be going on in other places and with other people.  I watched cars go by and listened to the sounds of the city from my balcony.  It was quite freeing!!  I will probably make better and more intentional decisions with my time if I take a little time each day to be still.  I will try to set this time as the first 5 minutes of my day.  I will wake, have a nice stretch and just sit or recline in stillness…breathing in another day of life and setting a mental intention for the day. It will be my morning Mom break and will give me that stillness first thing in the morning.

A good indulgence can feed your mind, body and spirit. 
I went to the spa and had a body detox treatment, a full-body massage and a facial.  The entire time, there was aromatherapy being steamed into the room and nurturing sounds and music playing softly overhead. There’s no zen like the one where someone is speaking to you in hushed tones, massaging your scalp, helping you sip relaxation tea hands-free and blowing essential oils right into the space around you.

And I ate some of the yummiest and most decadent food–from pancakes with applewood smoked bacon for breakfast to tempura fish tacos for lunch, finishing with a classic wedge salad, lamb lollipops and pan-roasted redfish for dinner.  My mouth is watering just thinking about it. Not only was I able to eat some delicious and rich culinary treats, but I was able to do so while it was hot and fresh, and without having to stop and feed multiple other people while my food got sad, old and yucky.  It was fascinating to have the time and ability to sit and savor my food. 

And finally, I slept a full-night’s sleep (7-9 hours) at night and some more during the day…for three whole days. Talk about a Mom break! This is nothing short of a miracle for this tired Mama.

No matter how lovely my time away, I still desperately miss my family.
Oh how I miss those smiling faces, those loud voices, the millions of daily cuddles…even the boo boos that need to be nursed and kissed to feel better.  They make life worth the living!!  I am having a fantastic time of refreshment and rejuvenation this weekend, but it’s only sweet because the life I get to go back to is full of love and wonder.  I got to FaceTime them a short while ago and they were so excited to talk to me.  It was chaotic and it definitely took me out of my zen mood for a bit, but that’s my chaos and I love it!!  

Taking a Mom break on a budget

News flash…A Mom Break doesn’t have to break the bank!!

A satisfactory Mom break can be replicated without spending lots of money on luxurious locations or lavish accoutrements. Even those words sound pricey!

What are some options for taking a break when you’re running low on funds?

• Take an ultra relaxing bath. Add a bath bomb, epsom salts…even flower petals… Bonus: Add a glass of wine or herbal tea to this moment to heighten zen.

• Grab a book and add your favorite yummy beverage. I tend to prefer fiction so that I can truly go into another world, but anything you have been clamoring to read should suffice. Bonus: Take your read and drink and make a comfy little reading nook in your bedroom, or if the weather is favorable, you could even take it outside.

• Do a manicure, pedicure and/or facial treatment using your own tools at home.

• Diffuse essential oils. You can go for a citrus scent for an instant energy lift or lavender to begin your wind-down.

• Take a nap. Bonus: Add aromatherapy, white noise (using an app or sound machine) and a very comfy bed space.

• Prep a charcuterie board in anticipation of eating fresh food for your down time. Fresh veggies, fruits, meats, cheeses, crackers, dips, hummus, spreads and a sweet treat or two should be filling and enjoyable. You can gnosh on this throughout your relaxation time.

• Light some candles. Just about any candles will do the trick to give that ambient lighting that sets the chill vibe you need.

• Play relaxing music. Or play music that makes you want to dance it out in your underwear, singing into a hairbrush. Whatever experience your heart seeks will only be amplified with the right playlist.

• Experiment with makeup, glam and other beauty rituals. I never, EVER have much more than 5-10 minutes to spend getting myself ready. By the time I clean and dress five children, you’re lucky if you get briefly brushed teeth and a ponytail from me. When I have my time away, I can take my time and just beautify myself for a change of pace. Or not.

• Stream your favorite show or movie trilogy. Add the comfiest lounge clothes and fun snacks to this one. Can somebody say…zzzzzzzz… That show is almost always watching me about 40 minutes in. But that’s fine too! It’s all about whatever Mama needs in the moment.

• Get dressed up and go out. Show off some of that glam you spent your time on. It’s not often that we get cute. Someone should see us! Bonus: Meet a friend for drinks or dinner, if you feel like it. Or just have a date with yourself. She’s good company too and you won’t have to feel any pressure to exert energy you don’t have.

• Complete a long-standing project. Now, this one is more work than the rest, but this is what feeds the soul of some Moms. If you’ve been knitting a blanket or cleaning out your e-mail inbox…heck, even writing a book… Why not take some time to make some good progress on it without the incessant interruptions? Go for it!

I highly recommend all moms take a weekend retreat multiple times a year.  I know that I am going to be better for my children after taking this time away.  I have known that a Mom break is a thing for people and that it is important to for a sanity boost in your life.  I just haven’t had the time or the resources to make it a priority before.  Even if you don’t have a full weekend, or the money to stay away from home, there is a benefit to just getting a few hours to be somewhere else…ALONE. Now that I have been able to benefit from this guilty pleasure, I will fight to have it more often in the future.  It’s a game-changer, people…all that I needed and so much more.

Viva la Mom breaks!!