How quarantine has changed me

We all have things that we did and ways that we felt before Covid-19 was born (BC, as I like to call it). But since the pandemic has changed the world and society as we know it for the foreseeable future, I’m starting to realize that I am changing…(cue incredible Jennifer Hudson solo from “Dreamgirls”). Quarantine has changed me.

I am not the same person that I was before Covid-19 shocked the world. Quarantine has changed me and it has changed my outlook on…basically everything.

Some of these changes were already in motion before the pandemic. Some are good…some not so much. Some of these changes I plan to keep and incorporate into my daily life. Others…I need to seriously continue to work on…

Disclaimer: I am being real and honest here. No judgment allowed. If you are feeling judgmental, laugh at me behind my back and with your friends, but don’t share it in the comments below. I appreciate your cooperation.

• I’m finally making time to cook consistently.
• I’m finally making time to plan meals…because they won’t stop eating. Ever. Watch me talk about that in this video. https://youtu.be/1n6k19h6LaE
• I take full advantage of the precious moments when I get to notice the subtle but cool characteristics of my children. They are simple and sweet entertainment…as interesting as any other show I could stream.
• I’m finally slowing down to deal with the character issues that have been seeping into the hearts of my children, and into my own character. These family conversations have gone a long way to increase connection in our household.
• I realize that my empty backyard can be just as fun as one filled with play equipment, trampolines and a pool. I love just going outside with the kids and being silly or exploring nature. Check out this list if you need some ideas. https://chucksducksandcoconuts.com/2020/04/28/fun-activities-when-stuck-at-home-with-kids/
• I didn’t know that I could reach a level of exhaustion that exceeds even that of the time when I had three kids under the age of 3 (2 of them breastfeeding). I am so very tired!! For some, quarantine is a Netflix and chill kind of moment. And I am happy for you all. For those of us with children or other dependents to care for every waking hour, it’s a brutal sprint-marathon that doesn’t end until the last one is sleeping peacefully in his or her bed. And even then…who knows what the evening may bring?
• I have never really been a person that uses profanity or swears a lot. And that hasn’t changed during quarantine. But these words are in my thoughts sometimes and they rush into my head just as quickly as the emotions they rode in on…I would be ashamed if my kiddos could hear what I’m thinking in those moments.
• My self-control seems to be relatively steady on some days and whittled down to nothing on other days. On a really rough day, I can rage over spills/messes, food cravings, public announcements, current events, bugs in the house…anything. I just feel like a crazy person at times. Often, I find myself telling myself to just breathe and take some cleansing breaths before I say the wrong thing or raise my voice to a level that sends my kids running to the hills.
• Online shopping is way more fun and reliable than going in person. Personal shoppers and mail/package distributors are my heroes. Just one problem though…they make it too easy to shop, and before I know it, I’ve gone way over budget. I have never been one that is prone to shopping sprees or finds the process of procuring clothing and other items for life a fun thing to do. But this online thing is dangerous…
• I finally feel justified and more “normal” as the germaphobe I have been for years. I mean…I’m no Howie Mandel but please…take off your shoes when you enter my home, don’t sit on my bed in your outside clothes, and for goodness sakes! Wash and sanitize your hands after using the bathroom!
• My physical appearance is so very sad most days (but it’s okay). I’ve read the articles that talk about the importance of keeping a daily routine and getting dressed for the day. I’m just not doing it. #quarantinehairdontcare
• I can hear a loud crash happen in the playroom and not even run to see if there are any injuries. I first listen for a cry, and there are three different ones that I can expect. Only one is worthy of me running.
• Every day, I volley back and forth between extreme emotional states…from “I just love my life and having this extra time to be with my sweet, angelic, precious kiddos” to “Oh my sweet Jesus…how in the world am I going to survive this quarantine with these crazy people?”
• I’m pushing the boundaries of personal hygiene and most days, I don’t even care. Do I pass the sniff test? Cool.
• See above point and apply to my kids. Sad, but true.
• I’m very conscious and cognizant of the amount of physical contact I’m having with my children. I can clearly recall whether or not I have given out enough hugs and comforting touches by the end of the day.
• I don’t take myself or my life so seriously anymore. I consciously and intentionally laugh at myself and my messy family a lot more throughout the day.
• I miss going out to eat at restaurants. Going out to eat with five young children usually feels like a lot of work, but I would do it in a heartbeat at this point. Who remembers what it felt like to eat hot food from a restaurant?
• I go to the window more than once per day just to look outside…for no other reason than to marvel at nature and the beautiful environment that God created for us. Staring at the stunning colors all around the yard, watching squirrels chase each other, seeing birds flitting about the trees…it can be a very calming and soothing exercise, especially in the quiet of the early morning.
• I allow myself to appear virtually in front of many different people with uncombed hair and ratty t-shirts.
• I have time where I’m not running from one event to the next, and I can actually hear my thoughts about deeper issues–thoughts not related to just keeping up with the basic needs and calendar of my family. These thoughts inevitably lead me to a place where I can truly ponder and appreciate the privilege that I enjoy of being a legal citizen in a minority-world country. I pray for those who are disadvantaged in various ways throughout the globe, and I work to be tremendously grateful for not having to deal with issues such as the loss of water and/or power at any point in the day or night.
• I make more time to keep up with our world’s current events from a global perspective and consider how I might be able to take action today. Literally…I see an issue, think of one thing I can do towards it right now, and I do it.
• I laugh a lot. I mean…a lot. At my kids, jokes, funny YouTube videos…just trying to remain in a lighthearted place amid the chaos and darkness we are bombarded with everyday. This comedian never ceases to make me laugh with her 1-minute clips about random issues. https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=638413523390349&id=396080010794500&_rdr

There is more. So much more!! In all honesty, I cannot even begin to draw accurate conclusions about what my physical, mental, emotional and parental status will be when the need to remain in quarantine is deemed unnecessary. Quarantine has changed me in ways that I didn’t even see coming. And I wonder…how much longer it will last? When will we finally begin to relax into a new normal?

I have listed some ways in which quarantine has changed me, and it feels good to keep it real with you guys. How about you? In what ways has quarantine affected you?